perspicacious?

Recently, I received a Facebook message from a friend which spoke the words my heart has been shouting,

“Write Annie.” And so I am.

I’m not sure how to begin except to say that life is capable of moving in velocities and rhythms which defy description and evade elucidation. Any and all periods of change, chaos, and busyness that I have previously experienced in my eighteen years of living now pale in comparison with this new era into which I have leapt. If I were to take the time to wrap words around every new experience or significant moment that I’ve been faced with in just the last four weeks, I’d be a novelist by December. One friend of mine wisely cautioned me against “getting it all out” in one epic sitting, recommending that I try to capture my exploits and escapades slowly, one by one, so as not to unintentionally self-destruct.
      Clearly, these people are excellent discerners of Annie’s internal world. “Write,” and “don’t write yourself into the ground” are two of the foundational phrases necessary for my survival. As the day-to-day busyness of life increases, the process of putting together sentences appears less and less urgent, and my soul begins to panic in the rush of everything that is left unexpressed. My mind responds to this frustration with an apologetic reminder of my ever-lengthening to-do list, and the idea of writing something that isn’t homework recedes back into the corners of my mind once again.

Such is the wrestling match I have lived in for weeks now. At last, I am making space for words.

For those who are aware, the reason behind all the chaos and change in my life as of now is due to my recently acquired status as an on-campus freshman in college. Yes, it has finally happened, and my duties as a participant in collegiate dorm-style living are being fulfilled to their utmost potential. Currently, for example, my thoughts are undergirded by the hum of washers and dryers murmuring through the last few minutes of this week’s laundry. I have discovered that if I set up camp here, as opposed to in the busyness of the courtyard, I am less likely to be distracted from the task at hand. Already, in the few weeks that class has been in session, I have spent time in the dim light of laundry room fluorescents, trying not to fall asleep in between pages of The Odyssey. It is because of experiences such as this that I consider myself thoroughly submerged into college-kid culture.

This seems like an appropriate time to forge a list.
Things That Make Me Feel Like a College Student:

1. Life in a Marriott Hotel. One of the most primitive ideologies that I have discovered to be present here in OgleWorld is this: I, as a freshman, am not in control of my destiny. Like it or not, I will be placed into the freshie dorm, and be left there with only a door key in hand to defend myself from the late-nighters and the loud-talkers that take up residence in the courtyard at 1AM. Let me unpack this for you. The dormitory in which I reside is, essentially, a three-story square of doors without a ceiling. Picture “hotel in the middle of nowhere” style design-scheme. Walking out of our dorm, my roommate and I are greeted with a wide-open view of every door on the three halls surrounding. Socially, this is a beautiful system. We often leave our door open for hours at a time so that friends, neighbors, and passers-by will wander in and out of our dwelling as they go about their lives. Similarly, we leave daily comparison questions on a white board outside our door, so that even when people aren’t coming in to say hello, they are writing their thoughts down for us to read later. And so, in spite of the fact that the walls are thinner than the giggling girls on the other sides of them, and even though the water temperatures are not to be trusted, and overlooking the fact that every wall in room 217 is painted a questionable, slightly offensive shade of blue…I like this old building. It’s easy to know people here, living in the round. Or, the square.

2. Frat Parties, Club Dancing, and Sushi. I don’t think I’ve been able yet to make someone understand why raw fish could feel at home on a list with such risque compadres. Perhaps this is because technically, such a thing is highly unlikely to occur. In my world and for my purposes, however, it works just fine. Let me a’splain. All of these items are reminiscent of activities I have participated in for the first time over the last four weeks- unique experiences, to say the least. All occurred with a solid flock of female friends surrounding me, and all with pepper spray in hand. To the delight of my parents’ watchful eyes, sushi was certainly my favorite experience of the three. But here’s proof that clubbing did actually happen:

Next to me is Beth, the roommate, Bianca, Lauren, and Sarah. Aren't we impressive?

The wonderful Clair Carter joined us as well. Truly, the night was more than a success, complete with the adventurous experience of locking the keys in the trunk of my Beautiful Buick, and waiting in a less-than-wholesome parking lot for triple A to arrive. I have a truly inspiring knack for sniffing out the best of circumstances in which to render myself keyless. Please, hold your applause.

3. Running, Always Running. Certainly one of the greatest differences between this month and every other month of my entire life is the intense amount of physical activity I have willingly subjected myself to by leaping headlong into this insanity they call “cross-country.” The verbosity of my statement is not unwarranted, I assure you. Never, in all of my many years of existence on this planet, have I ever encountered a phenomenon to compare with the mental quiddity of a cross-country runner. I’m not sure how to explain this to you. These people, they choose, they volunteer to rise each morning before the sun, stumbling from their sheets into their training shoes, crawling with diminishing strength to plant both feet in astonishing resolve on the well-worn asphalt of the track. They run, not so that they can better their strength for some other recreational task, but simply so that they can run more, run faster, run harder. And now, I am one of these people, although I’m not exactly sure why.

This is a shot of me, Bianca, and Armanda kicking butt at the last meet. GO OU!

Almost every single human being who is not involved in this madness can easily be seen on the sidelines wearing an expression of mixed awe and compassion, wondering what kind of crime we could have committed to deserve this kind of pain. Our response: we just love to run. And despite the initial (and continual) pain of training daily, the feelings of improvement and accomplishment are increasingly more thrilling to encounter. In the beginning, training feels as though your body and mind are simply going to override the system and shut down entirely. Everything in you says, “WHY ARE WE DOING THIS?” very loudly, convincingly, and with fervor. Somewhere in your soul, you have to just decide to do your utmost, whatever that may be. If the brain of a cross-country runner could be unveiled, I believe those words would be buried somewhere deep inside. Suddenly, I am asked to harbor far more mental resilience than I ever knew I could need. This is a stretching kind of experience, to be sure.

And there are countless other matters I could list here. I could spend weeks just writing this one blog; I assure you I would forget something still. I want to pour forth words on a thousand subjects- ranging from the adventures of roommate life to the deep appreciation for home and family that has become so prominent in my heart. I want to tell you about the conversational doors that are flung wide all around me both in and out of the classroom, the open invitations to speak with and listen to worlds that are patterned differently than my own.  But to do all of this would be to abandon the advice of my wise friend: three months of living should not be unfolded in the small space of one blog entry. The idea feels sort of like trying to open one of those enormous travel maps while actually driving; even if you don’t fail, you will probably crash.

And so, I shall leave you with this random assortment of quick thoughts,

- This is a new look for my blog. I hope that you like it. Please note the new address: anniemorning.wordpress.com as opposed to the old anniemorning.blogspot.com. I’ll be here from now on. Or at least until something more awesome comes along.

- I am running for Freshman Class President! More will be written of this later.

- Look for entries every couple of weeks or so. Even if I am too busy to breathe, I will try to keep writing. Right now, for example, I should be reading Greek comedy or sleeping. Alas, I do not begrudge you for this sacrifice on my part. The sleep gods, however, may overtake me at any moment.

- Thank you, truly and sincerely, if you are reading this. It makes a difference in my world that someone is willing to read my words.

More soon. I mean it this time.